February 18, 1978
Anyway, I wonder what the end of the world will be like? Will we all be blown up right away, or will radiation slowly creep over the land, and the human race will be snuffed out bit by bit over a period of years? I once thought that man would die out and the animals would be "thundering over the earth long after Man has vanished," but I don't think this will be so. How can it? We seem bent on seeing every living thing dead and gone before we feel our mission is complete and we, too, may exit. *
I wonder if I will live to see the End? Or Judgment Day (probably the same thing)? or God? I wonder if God has ever appeared in human form to anyone, like the Greek or Roman gods did in myths? I remember when I was very small I was looking out the window and I thought I saw Jesus. Well, maybe not Jesus, but some one who looked like that. For just a split second, I thought I saw His foot and His red robe draped over His heel, like it would look if He were taking a step. Sometimes those very old memories get to be so old that I think it mustn't have been a real memory, but a memory of a dream I had once.
* [This will one day be a historic passage. (April 2, 1978)]
Saturday, August 19, 1978
I haven't heard anything from MacMillan Publishing, to whom I sent a letter of inquiry a week ago tomorrow. I am not only judging (on whether I will send my work to them, now, if possible, or in future) what they say in their letter, but how quickly they reply, their courtesy, etc. Many companies would probably throw a letter from someone my age in the circular file or the trash, and if they do, I won't give them my business when I am an adult.
I think my main choice will be Grosset & Dunlap. When I sent them that rotten stuff two years ago, they were very courteous and referred me to someone else.